False Alarm
I have expected so much from this country which now I call home. Although I had a degree from another country, I had to take extra classes to be considered as qualified. To my dismay my certifications were even based on the degree that I had in the PH. The fact that I owe more money and couldn’t even get a job to pay for it and the grace period is over for my loan, I could say I have wasted my time and effort for something perhaps wasn’t meant for me on the first place. What is left is that I am in debt and have no way to pay for it. Even the plan of visiting the PH next year is really impossible too. I’m totally stuck. My dreams felt like it is being shattered in front of me. My heart been ripped like it was a useless part of my soul. The hope for all those dreams coming true is fainting. And as I face everyday the only reason for me to survive is just because other than that is vague. I tried to be optimistic everyday but the pain is like a broken relationship, it hurts so bad, that there are times during the day I would break down and sob like a baby. What went wrong, I kept asking myself? What is wrong with me? At this moment, it feels like I’m letting those hopeful expectations slip through the drain. False alarm is what I could say. What is there left of me?
